Saturday, December 17, 2011

Was going through some old photos today...and it made me sad. I can't believe I used to starve myself because I thought I was too fat. Guess I'm in a reflective mood much emphasis does society place on the exterior? Too much. They did a study a few years back measuring the level of happiness and security that women felt with themselves and it was found that Asian countries and the U.S. scored the lowest. Meanwhile, South American and African nations scored much, much higher. You can't tell but I'm miserable in all of these pictures.

I barely ate, kept a Caloric Intake log book, and just had such negative thoughts toward food. I wish I can say that I've come a long ways since day. Some days are better than others. I struggle. But I hope and pray to God that I'm not the only one who has a monster that I'm always battling. God, what a trip down Memory Lane....Winter always puts me in such a funk.

[edit] Just read a couple entries back on my posts, I still do agree with my belief that life is too short and you just have to be grateful for everything you've got. I hope no one thinks I'm bitchin' about my life, I was just merely putting out into words the thoughts that were swirling in my mind in the last hour as I was going through my old photo album. I know I'm SUPER LUCKY to have my health. My body is intact, I do not have cancer, I am not missing any limbs, and I realize that others may not be so fortunate. I know all this. I'm more blessed than I feel I deserve sometimes. So by no means am I saying that my life sucks. Life is still far too short, in my opinion. Live it up!

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