Saturday, December 25, 2010

Pursuit of Happiness

I've been avoiding this post for the past couple of days...maybe because I'm kind of in denial myself about the entire situation. I know everybody has nice, chirpy, merry holiday posts up right now and for me to even put this out there makes me feel like the one Debbie Downer on this special Christmas day. :/

My boyfriend and I broke up last night. I was the one who had initiated the break-up, so I'm sure it's not hitting me quite as hard as it had hit him. (But in all seriousness...no one comes out of the break-up hurting any "less" than the other. It's a lose-lose situation..) It hurt my heart SO BAD the entire time I was sitting there, trying to not fumble my words as my voice was quavering and my lips trembling. I never thought I would see the day we would grow apart. We had been together for 3 and a half years. I have never given so much of myself to anyone. I know I'm not the easiest girl to put up with, as a matter of fact, I'm POSITIVE that I'm the one girl that no mother wants her son to ever meet. It's just a mere statement that is true...

Although our relationship had spanned several years, I have always seen tall tale signs that we were on the brink of crumbling with each and every fight that severed our patience and trust issues. In the beginning, HE was the one that came fighting and pulling through. Even when I gave him all HELL (it's a defense mechanism of mine that I have whenever I'm in a relationship. I'll "purposely" do things here and there to piss the guy off just so he can leave already. Very stupid and childish of me, but it's my downside that I have to deal with) and yet he would still stay with me. Bitter, hurt, and angry. But through the very end, he'd still be left standing behind me waiting for me.......and now it's at the point recently, where I notice that I've been the one picking up the slack.

In the beginning, I didn't mind having to always bite my tongue and saying "Sorry" to end the fight (even if I knew he was in the wrong). But as the weeks have gone on by, I notice that I have had to change almost the very core of my essence just to appease him when he gets in his fits of anger. And BAM!! Just one night, it hit me out of nowhere. WHY AM I TRYING SO HARD TO SALVAGE something that obviously isn't meant to be? At this point in our lives, this relationship SHOULDN'T HAVE TO be this hard to put back together. I'm grabbing and holding onto him sooo strongly, that when I open the palm of my hand...I feel as though I've just squeezed out everything and in all actuality, nothing remains.

So I broke it off last night, much to the dismay of my gf's (who I turned to for help and advice...trust me, I've been deliberating over this over and over and over and over....) But it had to be done. I went to his family dinner because they had previously invited me. And this was the FIRST year they entered my name into their annual tradition of the Secret Santa exchange. It chokes me up to think that the first year they included me in as their "family", that it has all boiled down to this.

My heart feels hollow and empty....I haven't really cried out all of my emotions yet. My throat feels dry, hoarse, as though there's a hard lump stuck inside it. My eyes are fighting to retain the tears that want to spill. I know I will come out of this stronger and more mature than ever...but for the next couple weeks, I'll just have to walk around with a smile on my face. I don't really know of any other way to exist.....


Monday, December 13, 2010

These volcanos are about to erupt

This winter has been especially hard on my skin...and the snow hasn't even begin to pile up yet. *sigh* For some odd reason, I've been breaking out really badly all along my forehead. It's been driving me crazy! Especially since that's all I can think about whenever I see myself in the mirror (could it be my bangs causing it??) But no one else around me seems to notice it...don't you hate it when ppl say, "Ohh...it's all in your head. I don't see anything!" Maybe that could be the case, but I seriously haven't broken out this much since I was a teen back in high school subsisting on a diet consisting solely of potato chips, pizza's, and soda (damn, that sounds realllllly good right about now. Damn my whole "Don't eat anything after 5 p.m." restriction! Sadface.) It feels as though these volcanos are about to erupt!

I know...I didn't want to put up my bare face but just had to show that I don't have the best skin. I have dull, sallow complexion with some undereye "worry bags", haha. I worry a lot, as you see.

BUT THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY!!! I was able to get rid of all of those nasty little suckers using a very simple regimen!!!!!! I wanted to share with you guys in case anyone else's face has been acting all sorts of crazy. Just fyi, my skin can be classified as more on the dry side (with a oily T-zone).

Photobucket

The CeraVe Facial Moisturizing Lotion PM has been a complete godsend!!

Photobucket

I originally read about this one of those celebrity gossip magainzes in which Audrina Patridge states that she puts this right on her face as she boards the airplane. The high altitude tends to dry and suck the moisture right out of your skin, so it's been recommended that you lather up on some good ol' lotion before taking flight.

It can be found at your local drugstore (i.e. CVS, Walgreens, etc). I got mine for $12.99 I believe, not exactly sure but it's under $15 or something. Well worth your money!!

Photobucket

The next thing I use every night after I take off my makeup is the Boscia Clear Complexion Cleanser w/ Botanical Blast. I have been using this for over 2 and 1/2 years and am in love with it! This is my fourth bottle that I have purchased. It makes your face feel so clean after you wash it off. You should massage it gently all over your face, concentrating on the areas you are prone to your break-outs for up to 1 minute at least. Let it absorb and soak in, then rinse all the residue off! I cannot stress how much this product has saved my skin. You can find it at your local Sephora for $26. Best part? It does not consist of any parabens or sulfates, so it shouldn't irritate most ppl's skin.

So yeppers! I just wash my face every night with the Boscia cleanser, and follow up with a generous amount of the CeraVe night moisturizer all over my face. And BAM!!! I'm good to go. Be sure to drink plenty of fluids throughout the day, too. I know this sounds gross but I go to the bathroom almost every hour while I'm at work, that's HOW MUCH H2O I be drinkin'. It's gotten so routine that some ppl at work have started to spread rumors that I'm bulimic or on drugs (why else would I be in the bathroom, huh? I must be throwin' up my food or snortin' something. So fuckin' lame, folks! I even have pregnancy rumours going around because I've been eating weird things like eggs, pickles & ketchup. But I just like to eat an insane amount of food, and particularly in weird combinations lol. *shrug*)

Hope that helps anybody out there. I know how it feels when your skin does not feel in its prime tip-top condition. I get so self-conscious when someone is standing close to me, even if it's just one tiny itty-bitty beauty blemish. I seriously do think it's all in my head, lol. Please let me know if you have any "tried-and-true" beauty products to keep your skin clear and healthy looking! Thanks :-)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Shakey like a bobblehead, yep!


Photobucket

Ok, I lied. I guess I can't ever really leave blogspot. It's my home, my sanctuary. My little humble abode where I can release my most inner, deepest thoughts, feelings and fears. So welcome me back! :) (Oh yeah, the picture above is just BEAUTIFUL!!!! I love everything about her style. Her lip color is AMAAAZIIIIIIIIING.)

I just went to Tyson's Corner Mall today. GeeZ, the place is a fuckin' nightmare! Each store's line would have me waiting at least 15-20 minutes, no lie! I just went to get my bf's sister-in-law this bangle from the COACH store. It is the :"COACH POPPY HALF INCH STRIPED HINGED BANGLE" in Amethyst


They normally engage in a "Secret Santa" type activity every year, and finally---after THREE years of being together with him, his family finally decided to include me. I didn't put anything on my Wish List. I just put that I want a gift card from either F21 or Sephora. And I guess, whoever is my Secret Santa asked me a question: "Don't you need anything else?" To which I typed, "Nah. I already got lucky and have Joseph ;)" I'm sure once they read my response, they will either proceed to gag or throw up...hmm, I think a combination of both! Lol! I can't say that I really want anything. I'm more than blessed with all the material possessions that I already have. The ONLY thing I could think that I could *possibly* want is maybe to try out La Mer Cream. But even then...it's really unnecessary, lol. I already treat myself to everything I want. I work very hard, and if I want something---I just get it for myself! No need to wait for someone to get it for me. I'm sure a lot of you ladies can understand. =]


This was what I wore during my chaotic trip to the mall (bf was hella pissed! He had to lug around 6 big shopping bags. Oopsie! :p) I loooooooove my hat so damn much. It's been cold in VA lately. But today was actually quite tolerable. It was cold, but thank God that it wasn't W I N D Y as it had been yesterday! I got this cute hat from H&M. I had no idea that their hats come in sizes. Boy, imagine my surprise when I saw that the tag had said "LARGE". Does that mean I have a fat head? I always thought it wasn't fat. Just very long like an egg-shaped, hahaha. Ohhh, come to think of it. I kinda resemble a bobble head....*sadface*


If only I was nearly half as cute as said bobble head above. Siiiigh. No, you seriously don't understand! One of my co-workers at work is on a softball team. On his off time from try-outs season, he throws paper balls at my head 'cause it's pretty big. He almost always hits me right on target! Grr, I get so pisssssed. But I gotta admit, if I were in his shoes...I would be aiming for me every day, too. Lol.


So the above two products are the only things that I got at Sephora. I wanted the Perfume Sampler Kit because in it includes a voucher for a FREE *FULL-SIZED* version of either of the perfumes that are in the kit. Not a bad deal for $50. I've been using Vera Wang's Princess or the Ed Hardy's women perfume for winter. But I'm looking to venture out. I also got the Sephora Mascara Sampler because if you know anything about me, I HAVE TO HAVE LONG LASHES ('member I'm the one who has used every lash serum product known to mankind...literally). I think long lashes just give such a flirty, youthful appearance. And the thing is, I suck suck suck at false eyelashes. I am so jealous of all you girls who can put those bad babies in less than 10 seconds! It takes me 15 minutes and even then, it looks like dead caterpillars are trying to wiggle off my eyelids. Such a sight for sore eyes *smh*

Photobucket

Oh btw, to bring you guys up to date. I got me a tattoo! Yay! About fucking time! I have the huuuuugest fear of needles (add to that, cotton balls and killer whales. Stop laughing already! I fear what I fear, hear?) so for me to get it alongside my rib really was quite an experience. I'm not really going to go into what it says...but it's all Gothic font block letterings. I'm itching for more tattoos and that will most likely be taking place very soon *Fingers crossed*

Photobucket

Leave you guys with a LATE picture of my Halloween this year. This is one of my closest girlfriends. I've known her since middle school.. she's getting married next year. Damn, we all gettin' so o*l*d. Makes me sad..........to be a kid again. I wanna be carefree again...







Eeeeiiii...not sure why the pictures are all different sizes. *facepalm* I fail!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

http://laceandsnakeskin.tumblr.com/

Catch me here instead....

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Life's a beach...it's sandy all around me

Heyalllll! How's everybody's summer coming along? LOL. Obviously, mine has been going pretty welllll considering how neglected my blog is. But y'all already knew that about me. I pretty much come 'n go as I please. It's my blog, deal with it!! :)

Just been refreshing myself with some delish drinks...yummmay Strawberry Limade!

And eating some fresh fruits to liven up the skin!

Lol, funny story actually about the picture above. I was actually at work eating with my co-worker (who is the GOOFIEST guy alive) and I was eyeing his apple...so he asked me, "Do you want my apple? I don't want it, I'm full already." And I was just being my usual polite self, "Oh, don't worry about it. I don't want it. You keep it for later or somethin'..." ALLLLL while I was still *eyeing the apple* And he kept pestering me to just take it. So meekly, I confessed, "I don't actually know how to cut apples." And he was chuckling like he was in a seizure fit! I went to the restroom to wash my hands and came back to the sweetest surprise ever! He had actually gone to find a knive to cut those apples up for me. =]

So far, this summer I've gotten HELLA TAN (well, fake tan...but still). Went to the beach once, and about to hit up NYC again this Friday. I swear, that's the one place I've been to the most in the past few months. Not sure why that is, especially since I have anxiety attacks in crowded places---and NYC IS CROWDED AS FUCK!

OCEAN CITY, MD 2010
"Boardwalk" Sign
welcomes you to the beach!


OUT OF THE BLUE~~

Supposedly, this place sold really good crabcakes. I'm not much of a crabcake aficionado, so I couldn't give you my 2 cents. But hey, I was hot as hell & hungry---and it was good enough for me then! They had good smoothies as well. *lickslips*

Early in the morning is prime time to find a great location on the sand to settle in! See the Ferris Wheel in the background? So romantical to go on for a ride at night---as the gentle, summer breezes set in. <3

At night, we went to a place called SEACRETS-->They got palm trees there, and the ground is all sand. It's basically like you're parting out on the beach at night time. It wasn't really my kind of thing. For one thing, I don't drink alcohol. But it was nice just to see what kind of setting it was. Basically, it's like 4 or 5 bars into one little place. It's HUGGGGGEEEEEE. And crowdeeeeeed :(

The best part is that they have these seats that are partially submerged underwater in the ocean. You can swim out and just grab a drink and chill out in the water. Of course, since it was night time---it was off-limits. But in the day time, I'm guessing it's a great way to drink and "cool" your body while having a good time with the buddies.

At the beach, I got to work on my killer tan (didn't use sunblock, I'm going to hell for sure)


Moving onnnnnnnnnn....photographic evidence to prove that I am indeed ALIVE & welllll

This was a month ago. Look how tan I am! Holy shit! Lol, I overloaded on my bronzer---guilty as charged. :p But I felt like channeling some Lauren Conrad with this hairstyle.


I basically just braided my bangs into my hair and twisted/pinned it back. For that day, I DID have to flat-iron my hair to be stick "pin-straight". I don't normally do that since I hate using any type of heat on my hair. Oh well! Definitely felt like a Cali-kinda chick that day. Except I'm most definitely an East Coaster girl!

Then, I felt like making things a little more glam. So I just pulled my naturally wavy hair into a side-ponytail. And yes, I'm wearing my favorite color--woot woot! I looved the tan I had going on here. I wish I was darker~~

Euughh, don't mind the bangs. It was in the process of being too "long" to be workable bangs, and yet too "short" to actually be part of my side hair. So I just teased it a bit with my Victoria's Secret hairspray (loooooooooove that spray!!!! Smells so *schmexy*) and just worked it to the side and prayed to God that the wind didn't distort my 2-minute piece of art, lol. Like my earrings? I typically do not wear any "flashY' earrings, I have converted myself to be more of a small studded earrings girl these days. I like to stick to the pearl earrings, geeeZ....how BORING have I become these days?? Plus, I wear cardigans like no other! I'm pretty much a poor-man's version of a Stepford wife :/


This is how I look these days. Darker hair! And in other news, my eyebrows are growing back thick n' bushy! Yayyyy! I've been waiting, literally, over 2 years for this miracle to take place. I used to wax my eyebrows sooo often that they became thin, anorexic lil' caterpillars (sniff sniff, wth was I thinkin'?) So I finally decided to toss out ALL of my tweezers except for one...that way, that ought to eliminate any "itch" I ever had to mess with my 'brows.

But STILL rocking my "glitteryeyexx"'s, heheheh. I freakin' hate my lashes right now. They're so long, but not exactly voluminized like they used to be. I really regret using LATISSE. The long-term effect really outweigh the initial benefits of having long lashes *sigh* So girls, really think about it before you use this prescription drug! I wish I had really considered all of the aspects involved with using Latisse. >:[

Oh yeah, has any of y'all heard about eBates?? I AM HOOOOOOOOOKED on this site. You girls MUST SIGN UP FOR THIS!!! You basically create your own account, and any time you shop anywhere on-line, LOG ONTO your eBates account FIRST!! Find your shopping site's link and engage in your transaction thru eBates. You get a certain percentage back on your purchases. Each store has their own established percentage-back rate, and it changes often...so check back to see. Right now, Sephora has a 4% cashback rate every time you make a purchase thru eBates. I remember, at one point it was 7% or more! So now, there's no more GUILT in shopping. You'll be making back a little bit on each purchase transaction. So ch-ch-check it out, beauties =)

http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=wFSBNv%2FZfPc2PwONMAMEeQ%3D%3D

Click on the above link to create your very own eBates account! And be on your way to making money back from your "retail therapy". Can't get no betta than that!! Let me know how much you end up getting back. So far, I've made $50 just by doing the things I have already been doing, just by shopping :)

Hope everyone's summer is going grrrrr8! (That was so lame, I know, lol.)

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Kitty got flava!

I'm baaaaaaaaack, my lovelies!! Woot woot! It was my birthday yesterday!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee. So pretty much, I've been on my "vacay" for the past week or so. I just came back from the "city that never sleeps" a.k.a NEW YAWWK! (Yes, I meant to type it like that, lol.) It was mucho fun, but in my realization...I've come to see that no matter where in the world I am---home is where the heart is...seriously. So far, I've been up to New York twice in less than 3 weeks. The 1st time, I took a Greyhound bus---but ugggggh, 4 hours one way there, 4 hours back home = 8 HOURS OF torture. This 2nd time around, I just took the damn airplane!! Can you believe I had to be strip-searched at the airport?? Lil' ol' me?? They put me in a confinement "box", basically it's a see-through huuuuuge cube that you are solitarily confined in. Then they have this security officer come in the box to search you. I had to take off my shoes so they could make sure I didn't have a bomb in it. Wtf? :p

I went to eat at a place that is supposed to be BOMB ASS GOOOD when it comes to dim sum. But the service was so, so, so HORRIBLE. I think because I didn't speak a single word in Chinese, they didn't care to come by our table with the dim-sum cart. Literally, every single time I tried to flag down one of the waiters, they just turned the other way. EVEN THOUGH I clearly made eye contact with them!! Fucking shit!!! I was soooo pissed. In DC area, I'm used to getting good service at restaurants. But in NYC, it was really an eye-opener for me...*pouts*

Grand Harmony
98 Mott St
(between Canal St & Hester St)
New York, NY 10013


The dim sum was aiiight. It wasn't all that. I was soooo hungry that I ate everything so damn fast, lol. You know that feeling? Where you're not really biting or thoroughly chewing any of the food? I practically just inhaled all that!

And guessssss who I was lucky enough to encounter on the streets of New York???? *drumroll*
The one and only infamous NAKED COWBOY!!!

He's pretty famous...been on the Letterman show and other media outlets. I literally just bumped into him, having nooo idea it was him. But my gf was like, "Sophie! Look in front of you!" So you know me...I'm pushy as hell. I definitely wanted the chance to have a photo op with him.
I seriously felt so uncomfortable around him, up close. He's really touchy-feely, lol. But then again, he is PARADING AROUND in his tighty-whities...what should I have expected?? Look how I'm trying to put some space in-between us, while he pushes me even closer to him, ahahaha.

He wanted to *flex* his arm muscles for the entire crowd that was slowly encircling us during this photo op. I decided to be bold and smack that ASSS!!!


The entire crowd was clapping & applauding us!!! The women were screaming. *smh* Soccer mom's and menopausal women love anything that remotely resembles Fabio, lol. Ohhh---and JUST FOR THE RECORD...I really DID NOT touch his ass. I just placed my hand accordingly in front of him, so it made it look as though I was smacking his ass. And for sure, afterwards, I Purell'd the shit outta my hands. I even used 2 baby wipes to get the grossness off of me. This was all in the name of a good photo, so I could look back one day and laugh.

I also went to this cute little shop that served boba drinks & mochi! Since it was soooo sizzling hot in the mid 90's, I had to drop by and grab me a nice, icy cold lycheee drink and some green tea mochi. Yum! Yum! And the shop's name is so cute, as well, hehe.

51 Mott St.
(between Bayard St & Pell St)
New York, NY 10013

Mm'mmmm. Don't get no better than this!!

And offff course, I had to make sure I grabbed some Gundam kits for my bf before I headed home. Here is one of the finished products after he put it together.

Lol, isn't it so tight looking?? It's over 100 pieces! Took him awhile to figure it out, but he did. I always make fun of him for this weird side hobby of his, but then he reminds me that my make-up hobby might be considered "weird" to some ppl...lol, I guess we all have our little odd hobbies, huh?

All in all, my trips to NY were fun and interesting!! I've never been in a place that had SO MANY Asian ppl. So it was sort of strange to me at first. But then I set myself into the rhythm with the hustle n' bustle of the chaotic, busy surrounding. :]

************************************************************************************

Today has been such a chill day so far. I'm still trying to settle myself back into my life here, since I've been back. We went to go get dim sum at Mark's Duck House in Falls Church. It was really good! They had scallop ha gao, something different but very satisfying explosion in the mouth. My favorite dish is always going to be (hands down) shrimp ha gao!!

Uggh, I am kinda sick at the moment. My nose is stuffed up and I have a sinus infection. So I wasn't really able to taste all of the flavors in the dim sum. Look how sleepy I look! I think I'm sleeping with my eyes open (which IS possible, lemme tell you...that's how I look when I'm sitting in classes. I'm seriously sleeping BUT MY EYES ARE OPEN!! Hahaha, I got the professors fooled....wellllll, that is....until they call on me for the answer to a question. *facepalm* to the head)

[sitting inside the house on my couch]

Damn, I look so fuckin' messed up. Aggghhh! I hate it when my sinus infection physically starts to make me feel like crap------

So what's the quickest cure to sleepy eyes? OF COURSE!! Huuuuuge ass shades! These are my BIGGEST bug-eyed shades yet, to date. They freakin' cover more than 50% of my face. Which is good. No one wants to look at a face like this first thing in the morning, hahaha.


And here was what I wore. I loooove these shorts. The bf is sucha hater! He was asking me why it looked not like shorts. I was like, DUUUHHHH. It's supposed to be like that. The pockets are actually overextending past the length of the shorts and are visible. It's kinda trashy looking but I dig 'em!

Look at my chicken legs. I have such thick thighs but thin ass calves. It's the most unsightly thing! But thank the Lord Almighty I don't have "cankles". I see so many girls my age who have 'em? I thought only soccer mom's get 'em?!

I loveeeee the nail color on my hands/feet at the moment. It's such a light, fresh minty green! I got the nail polish from F21. It looks different & I dig that!

Yucky feet. Which I am afraid of. Hahaha, I'm really trying my best when I post this pic up, you do realize.....

And here's my full outfit. Look how tan my legs are in comparison to my arms! That was seriously a fake n' bake GONE WRONG. I used the Jergens fake tan lotion shit and it turned my legs waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay orange. I want a tan so bad but am too chickenshit to get it through salon tanning. *throws hands up in the air* What's a girl to do?


And here's a blooper picture. Hahahaha, my bf was trying to play around with my iPhone and here's me being pissed as hell, lunging at him & trying to retrieve it back. I was yelling, "Give it back, you lil' bitch" Sucha prankster, that punk!! >:[


Ohhh, and in exciting news (well, for me at least), I was able to obtain the much coveted MAC's Marine Life...yipppeeeeeee!

It's far too gorgeous and I'm afraid to use it. Upon the first initial application, the gold overspray is supposedly going to vanish. :(

Annnnnnnd, I'm going to get the limited edition Hawaiian Hello Kitty at Build-a-Bear Workshop tomorrow!! I've collected every single one thus far that has been out. I think this is the 3rd Hello Kitty they have promoted. Hehehe, pretty psyched for that. I'm such a kid, can you tell??

This is how the kitty comes. You have the option to buy little "outfits" for her. I love how the Kitty looks like she's got some "flava" in her. Luscious tan! Ohhh yeaaa.


Here she is, wearing the tropical Hawaiian girl attire, with the coconut bra and grass hula skirt. Soo cuuuuuttteeeee ^.^


I saw it in the store, but didn't get it at the time. However, I'm getting this tomorrow! Yayayay. Hope all you beautiful ladies are enjoying the summer weather!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I traced the cord back to the wall, No wonder it was never plugged in at all...

I'm watching MTV's "I Hate My Face" right now...wow...this is some deeeep stuff. One of the ppl that they follow is named Pamela, and she's Asian (I think maybe she's Thai? Her mom's name is "Presh", which sounds Thai-ish?) Pamela hates her nose, and eventually she ends up getting a nose job/boob job. Seeing her cry really makes my heart ache. Growing up, I was never considered the pretty one. In my school, it was primarily all Caucasian. All the popular girls were the blonde haired, blue-eyed ones with pretty names like "Ashley" or "Margaret". Lol, here I am...just little ol' Sophie. Freckled-faced and clumsy as hell, stumbling all over the playground.It was easy to see why I wasn't considered part of the "popular" gang, as much as I wished with all my heart that my crush, Dennis, (yes! I still remembered who my 1st crush was) would notice me. But he had a liking for the 2nd most popular girl in the class named Danielle. Not only was I not part of the "Barbie doll" mold at school, I was considered the "ugly duckling" even within my own family. :(

Then middle school came, and it was worst than ever. I was in-between the stages of wanting to be a baby and yet, still wanting to be more "adult-like". It was such a catch-22. Either way, I never felt truly comfortable playing the part. I still wanted to play with my Barbie's (lol, soo childish I know) and yet I wanted to venture into putting on make-up. I was my most depressed at this stage. I went home after school every day, cried myself to sleep (and it was only 4pm!) I slept 10-14 hours. Didn't eat, lost my period, and came in at a measly 80-lbs. I was beyond despair. My playlist consisted of:



"Adam's Song"-Blink 182
"Self-esteem"-the Offspring
"Lithium"-Nirvana
"Say it Ain't So"-Weezer
etc, etc, etc.......

I was as emo as they came...and then some. There were so many times I wanted to commit suicide...

High school came...and slowly, I began to ease out of my hard-shell. I learned to let my barrier down, just a tiny bit. But still, I always pretty much knew that the jocks/cheerleaders and I were not of the same kind. I wasn't popular, but I wasn't on the bottom of the social hierarchy. I was right smacked dab, in-between. I was the POPULAR one, however, when it came to copying off hw of. I was the "quiet, smart girl". That was my title. Miraculously, though. Somehow during my last year of high school as a Senior, my braces came off and my skin got better. I learned how to dress myself & use make-up. The saddest (yet lightly comical) story that sums up the essence of my high-school life:

There was this one guy that was a well-known jock. One day, one of my girl friends slipped me a tiny note during 7th period. It said in her curly, girlish handwriting: "Do you know J****? He thinks you're very pretty! :)" I remember HOW MUCH that made my day. Of course I knew this guy! He was not only cute, but had been friendly towards me. Even though most of the jocks never even gave me the time of the day, I remembered how he used to smile at me during Biology class. But the sad part was that I later found out, that he had asked around WHO I was & what my name was. How could he NOT know? He had copied off my worksheet plenty of times. Then my heart sank, he didn't even RECOGNIZE that the girl had been me. My initial excitement slowly vacillated into a more somber mood...how could the world just be so solely focused on LOOKS?? :(

College was the venue where I TRULy felt most comfortable in my skin. Here was a learning environment where ppl valued my thoughts & opinion moreso than the size of my titties or whether or not I was in a miniskirt. I felt so free, at last! And it was here, where I couldn't fend off the boys. I actually had so many guys call me that I had to change the cell #. I couldn't understand, though...I was still the same old me? What could have possibly changed so much that ppl could notice me NOW, but not THEN? Even though I was more free, in a sense I was more lost than ever. They say college is where you get to discover who you really are & your roots. I found out a lot of things about myself that were not only frightening, but quite liberating. (Some things are very personal, so I will choose not to disclose on a public blog).

And here we are...now in the present-day. Most of the guys from high school who had NEVER even given me a second glance, are now hitting me up on Facebook. They all want to "meet up" & "re-connect over some drinks or perhaps dinner?". And all to which, I merely hit the "DELETE" button. I have no time for these ppl, just as how in the past they had no time for me. But it really, really reiterates how shallow most guys are. I'm not saying, ALLLLL guys are like this. But especially when you have guys under the age of 21...they don't focus on what lies beneath the girl's exterior. I'm so lucky right now that I have a bf who thinks I'm beautiful, even when I know I look like death. He loves me, stinky, oily, and/or bloated.

Most of us have felt defeated before we really even began. We have all broken down & cried ourselves into oblivion. If I have any young readers, I just want you to know that LIFE is not just all about looks. Focus on building and strengthening up what's on the inside. Trust me---that will get you muchh farther in life than anything as fleeting as physical beauty! All of those popular cheerleaders and jocks will end up balding, fat, and leather-faced (hahaha, sucks for them that they never wore sunscreen!) Ok, end of my PSA for the day. Please feel free to write in my comments box what YOUR experiences in high school were like. I couldn't have been the only dorky, ugly ducking, right??


Is it so wrong that this is how I drive sometimes?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

If eyes are the "windows" to your soul, Rapidlash are like the snazzy curtains!

Just wanted to share something with y'all! Since Latisse has been makin' my eyelashes fall out like crazy. I have resorted to using Rapidlash to "undo" all of that damage. Click here for the MakeUpAlley reviews. It scores pretty high (90%)! And I looooove it! I just placed my order for my SECOND tube. I don't know why I didn't just stick with it, to begin with. I guess I fell for all the hype surrounding Latisse. Right now, Hautelook is having a sale on Rapidlash! It's only $40, PLUS it comes with a FREE jar of the Magnesium Crystal Resurfacing Polish!! (Compare this to other lash products that are welllllll over $100, and don't deliver shit!! Empty promises, I tell ya) I can't wait to try the latter product out! :)

ItalicClick directly on the picture to go GET YOUR eyelashes ready for the summer! Why put on loads & loads of mascara, only to look like a raccoon by the end of the day??? Better to build your bad-baby lashes up, so you can just skip that step altogether! I'm no longer using mascara right now, thanks to Rapidlash (goddamn, I sound like one of those annoying spokesmodel...but you guys know I ALWAYS SPEAK MY MIND. Whether you agree with my opinion or not, I always tell it like it is!) Can't wait to hear if any of y'all are going to try this out. Let me know your results =)

Hautelook is also having a big sale on LORAC make-up! I bought me quuiiiiite a few things from them. Can't wait to try those products out, as well. Here is one of the palettes (the Pink Python) I got for only $10.99.

Eeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. The day is goooood! Woot woot. *dances*

Monday, April 26, 2010

houstatlantavegas

Today was a very wet, rainy day. It was a complete pain to be driving around on the slick pavement. You either get your annoying drivers who drive 10 mph or who take advantage and drive at a crazy 70 mph (weavin' in-&-out of traffic, lol). I was somewhere in between. That's the funny thing. If you ever follow me behind in my car, you'll see the most random driving pattern out of me! I'll drive kinda slow (well, not slow...but whatever the speed limit is, I'll drive 5 ABOVE it), but then out of nowhere---I'll drive 15 mph above it. Like, for instance, let's say the speed limit is 35? I'll be driving at 45 or whatever...then, all of a sudden I get agitated and zooom! I'll be driving at 75. Then I'll slow down. Hahaha, I think subconsciously I do it to piss the ppl behind me. I like to play around like that :p

Here is the look I rocked for work today. I like to pull all of my hair over to one side of my head and loosely secure it with a bobby pin. I don't think it's actually a flattering style at all, but I like the feel of it---all of my hair on one side, that is. I wore my cheetah-print tank top underneath an H&M royal blue cardigan that I just snatched up recently. I'm completely ready for summer to come already so I can rock out in my flowy, bohemian dresses! Can't wait to put cute, little fresh flowers in my hair as well! Always makes me feel so giddy to feel like a tropical Hawaiian girl with those flowers! Let's just hope & pray that no bee will attack my head, lookin' to pollinate lol.

And in keepin' with my rhinestone fetish as of late...here is my BIG ASS heart rhinestone earring on the side of my head that holds all of the pinned-hair:


And here's the other side that has no hair and shows off my neck:


If any vampires are hereby reading this entry, look at my neck! Look how nice it looks. Think, just think of the throbbing carotid artery that lies beneath---waiting for your fangs to sink into! I'd be more than a willing participant in assuaging your thirst for blood. *throws hands up* Heeey, just merely stating that...*cheeky grin* >:]

But if the talk of blood leaves you feeling quite squeamish and/or queasy...here, let me indulge you with my favorite drinks from this local Chinese eatery "A&J".


They have pretty decent boba. Obviously, not the best. For that sort, I have to drag my lazy ass out to Eden (this big shopping center that primarily caters to the Vietnamese/Asian community). But I vow pretty much NEVER to go there!!! WHY????:

[front of Eden Center]

1. As you know, I hate to bring light to the stereotype that Asian ppl cannot drive. But it seems that all the Asian ppl that CAN'T...convene at Eden. I shit you not! Case in point, my grandmother who drives the illest Lexus used to drive, sitting on top of a Bell-Atlantic telephone directory book (you know? The huge 5-lb ones!) to see over the steering wheel. Thank goodness she finally learned how to use the electronic seat adjuster!

2. Any place that has more than 3-5 ppl in a room, makes me HYPERVENTILATE. I have social anxiety...baaaaaad. That's why it works me up to go to any gathering where there is too many ppl. I feel silly saying this...because it makes me feel like an oddball. But honestly, that's why I don't really go clubbing or partyin' that much. Unless I know you, know you...it creeps me out to be in close vicinity with anybody.

3, 4, 5, etc. It stinks, it's dirty there ('member, I'm a germaphobe), too many short midget gangster wannabe's who stare (hate ppl who fuckin' stare!), etc, etc. I almost ALWAYS get into fights when I go there. If you seriously stare at me more than 2 seconds, I'll start sayin' shit like, "Umm...do you have a problem? Why are you staring at me?" with a big scowl. Hahaha, my family hates going with me because they think I'm trying to provoke the situation. But I'm not!!!! I love it when one of my gf's said out loud, "Hmm...WHY don't these ppl just take a picture? It'll last longer!" Damn, I just re-read what I wrote. I realize that made me sound like a bitch...but girrrls, you know exactly what I'm talkin' about, right? Not tryna be mean, just puttin' it out like that.



I'm totally feelin' Drake's song "houstatlantavegas" song...sooo bad. I've been listening to this for the past weekend and all-day today. I have such naughty fantasies about what I'd like to do to him. Lol, omg. That was waaay TMI. But I gotta say, the dude's NOT bad-looking at all! When I first saw him, I immediately thought of Frankenstein. But he's kinda grown on me...

But ugggh, his real name is Aubrey? LMAO! I think it's better he went with "Drake" as his mononym...good choice, good call, buddy. ;]





Ok, on a serious side-note. I'm thinkin' about shuttin' my blog down. This has come across my mind more often, especially lately. I just think that...hmm, some ppl who do know me personally know about this blog. And while I know that anything that anyone posts on the internet is considered "fair game" these days...it still irritates me that someone would take that much interest in me, to be stalkin' me. If you really want to know about me, why don't you just hit me up? Shoot me a text or call every once in awhile, instead of resorting to this site, which paints me as a one-dimensional character, bascially. But we'll see how I feel in a few days...