Saturday, December 5, 2009

And even when I was close to defeat, I rose to my feet

Hey, you guys.

It's been awhile. I know I usually try not to get too personal on my blog, but that's just because I'm a really private person. Well, I've been having a really ROUGH week...so I just wanted to come on here and vent.

I have been having a lot of difficulties on work. I swear, some ppl seem as though they never get outside of that "high-school" mentality. Ppl at my work like to bicker, gossip, spread rumours, etc. And it seems I'm caught in the brunt of it all. It sucks, I don't mind when it's just one or two (cuz you know there are always going to be a hater present). But it seems to be vibing off everyone and everyone just wants to get in and get on the action.

There's this one girl at my work, who just seems OBSESSED with me. I have never done anything to her! I barely even talk to girls, since I like to just chill with the guys there. They have never given me any trouble whatsoever. Well, my best friend at work (who is a guy, duh! So his view is more mellow and logical) told me it's cuz she's jealous of me. But I'm thinking, FOR WHAT!!! We all are equals at the work place. At least, that's how I always operate under that assumption. No one is above anyone else. We all took this job on with the same duties and responsibilities! So I have no idea why she's trying to go around and get ppl to turn against me. Seriously, it's just her and her Ghanian bf (who tries to play off like they're just "friends"...which is strange to me, in and of itself. Why not make it public? Are you really ashamed to be associated with her??) try to talk smack and make things complicated for me.

But the sucky thing is that a guy that works there (that used to be really close to me) is getting in on this drama, too. Just yesterday as I was working....they both were in front of me (we were only separated by a shelf that's in front of me. It's hard to explain how the workplace is set up...but just think of it as a work bench that you work at in a science lab). And they were LITERALLY TALKING ABOUT ME RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. Albeit, they were trying to keep it hush-hush whisper. But I have excellent selective hearing! I could hear everything! Basically they were talking about how I'm ignoring that girl and why am I doing such a thing? Who do I think I am? And he was just going on about how I'm the one that told on her to the Superior about how lazy she is (cuz she is!)

There's seriously nothing more disheartening when you give it your 110% at your job, only to turn around and see ppl who are at 40% operating capacity. It's like they're taking a leeching off of you! They're leeching off of your hard work, to compensate for their lack of self-motivation and laziness. That hurts, man. Maybe I put too much of my all into my job, because that's just the way that I was raised. I come from a hard-working, rags-to-riches family. I was always given a "time-out" if I didn't give it my best, whether it came to homework or household chores.

But anyway, I'm still upset. But I'm starting to realize, that no matter how nice/professional/rational I am towards certain ppl....they may not always reciprocate the very same back towards me. I can't control ppl and how they view/treat me...but at least I can change how I respond back, right? At least that's what I keep telling myself. I have no choice but to continue being the bigger person here. I didn't say anything back while they were talking about me, because I JUST KNEW I would flip the fuck out!!! I'm the kind of person who can't control my emotions completely once I've reached my boiling point. So I just took a deep breath and tried to do my job, all the while ignoring them. It was really hard, though, cuz they talked about it for a WHOLE HOUR! Like, wow. Are you THAT OBSESSED with me?? Lol, I'm kinda flattered that I can get them riled up like that.

Sorry to bore you all...but that has been on my mind. And I just want to hear y'all's opinions. Am I doing the right thing by not confronting them? Because I have already confronted these two individuals before. I'm the kind of person that likes to talk things out like adults. I like to conquer the problems as soon as they arise. But once again, these ppl don't seem to fully understand. Like, once I've already talked it out with you...I'm assuming we've already SQUASHED the problems. So there should be no problems in the future! We don't have to like each other. Hell, I wouldn't be friends with ANY of the ppl at my work place (except for my best guy-friend), but at least I'm very civil and respectful towards them.

So please, just tell me if any of you have ever encountered the same sort of situation.**

Anyway, back to my previous entry...I'm not going to go too detailed since this is already a long enough post. But I'm just gonna list the HITS/MISSES. Spend your money on the HITS! And save your $$ for the MISSES! (Which were the items that I had to return back to Sephora after trying them out for about 2 weeks)

The MISSES were:
-Illamasqua Rich Liquid Foundation - RF 140 (it looked way TOO UNNATURAL on me! It was really chalky and pasty on my skin...I'm already pale as it is, but this made me look like a walking corpse. Definitely not a good look for the winter! I'm sure it works on some ppl's skin, but I'm just referencing this to my OWN experience).

-Benefit Cosmetics Get Even - 01 (light) --> It was WAY TOO LIGHT! It actually oxidizes throughout the day, so by the end of the day...your skin is kinda orangey. It makes your skin oily, too. Which is weird. I thought powders were supposed to prevent that sort of thing. That's why you'd powder your forehead/nose/chin, right? But anyway, I heard that the "Medium" shade was actually not too bad. But the "Light" shade didn't fare such great ratings on makeupalley.com

The rest of the other products were HITS! I really love the Urban Decay Brow Box - Honey Pot! For all of you eyebrow fanatics, this is definitely something that you must stock in your makeup box! It got really good rating on makeupalley, so I'm glad that I listened and got it! And the Sephora Professionel Brush IS AMAZING!!!!! A HG!!! The bristles are so soft and it gives such flawless application. The only down-side that I can think of is that it doesn't pack on too much powder at a time. But that can also be a good thing! That way, you don't put too much on your face! Cuz it's hard to "un-do" too much pigment on your face. It's easier to slowly layer it on, layer-by-layer.

So yeah, those are just my thoughts! Hope it helps you all! Ask me in the "Comments" section if you have any further questions, or if I wasn't clear enough. I'm sorry, but my heart is in a really low place right now with all this drama. You just have to understand, I spend 80% of my time at work, I work F/T -- Mondays thru Fridays--- sometimes over 40+ hours a week. So yeah, it's hard to escape from all of the stress and pressure.

Anyway, too much writing, onto the pics!

Here's me last Sunday. I wanted to try a new eyeliner method, extending the eyeliner past my inner-eye corner. My hair is messy. You can see the ga-jillion bobby pins sticking out! I have no idea what style to cut to. So most of the time, I pull my bangs back and just stick my hair into a bun! Easy, simple, done!

And here are some pics when I was in NYC. I was finally able to find out the hype surrounding Joe's Shanghai (which is known for their dumplings!)

Here I am at one of the bars. I never realized, but NYorkers loooooove their bar-hopping! Lol, fun experience since I'm not one to drink that much. But here, I was really sick. I think something at the Joe's Shanghai didn't sit right with my stomach. So I didn't feel so great. :/
And btw, that Joe's Shanghai was not even that great! Poor service since they were a packed-house! The dumplings were too sour in my opinion. They put too much vinegar sauce inside the dumplings. So I was drinking so much water!!
Here's a pic of the whole gang that I was with that night. We had fun!

Hahaha, my favorite pic of the night! This is how you usually find me...KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT. This was when we were at our 3rd bar of the night during our bar-hopping adventure. I guess I'm a light-weight, lol.

Anyway, here's the pic that I've been drooling over. I love this woman!! My dad is obsessed with her, and that's how I got my name! =)

Beautiful, huh? She's really CLASSIC beauty! She's what I think a real woman should look like. Not only was she volumptious, but she always maintained an elegant aura about her. Damn, I gotta stuff my tongue back inside my face from the drooling. ;)

11 comments:

  1. I had absolutely no make-up on and I was so TIRED! lol. You can tell from my eyes =[ so I have no idea how I'm gorgeous! haha. Asian moms will always be strict.... I think even when we get married. HAHAHAHA. "The in-laws are going to hit you and say something about you for not being a proper lady!" or something like that. Who knows.... we'll both find out later? haha. My hunnie's mom is strict on him, worst than us! I thought the Asian girls had it bad.... haha, he have to be home by 8PM! Sucks huh? at least for me =[ Going out is such a pain in the butt. I always end up getting so pissed off by the end of the night that I don't even bother to go out anymore. haha. He's 20 and have to be home by 8.... pathetic huh? He's the first guy that I know that have such a strict ass curfew for an Asian guy. lol.

    Did your mom ever use, "just because we're living in America, doesn't mean your Viet.... you have to carry on the tradition of being a Viet girl (blah blah blah blah blah, and the lecture continues to go on for hours)" lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hate those kinds of people! and i totally feel for you, just let em say what they wanna say, they are not the reason why you go to work, a beautiful person like yourself? and not to mention you get the job done, i'm sure she has lots of reasons to be jealous of you. Some people's way of charging up their esteem involves conniving, backstabbing, pulling other people down. that's how severe their insecurity is. I pray you stray strong all through out and remember you're way too cool and pretty for any of them haters

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ohh honey that girl is just a lazy and jealous girl! Some girls just have a "hater" mentality. They are terrible. I have experienced the same thing. During college I was a waitress and all the managers loved me and said how good I was to the customers and how hardworking I was. Well one day after putting in an order on the computer someone went on my computer since I forgot to log off and that person ordered a steak and lobster on the same table I placed an order and I got in big trouble for making a so called "mistake" when clearly this pathetic girl did it because she was hating on me and my "happy go lucky" attitude. The haters are always around, just act as if you are happy and nothing is wrong and I swear that will seriously KILL them inside. I hope this helps! Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey girl!
    yea, we all have those days and moments when we want to vent with all the stress in our lives. I'm also a private person, so there isn't much life related stuff on my blog. At least I don't remember. lol.

    That's a great look u did with extending the eyeliner toward the inner eye corner. Your eyes stands out. =)

    I also agree that sophia is a classic beauty and she is gorgeous. =)

    ReplyDelete
  5. did you receive the contacts? u look great!

    ReplyDelete
  6. lol i just read that you commented my blog! you look great! in my head i was like hrm those look like the contacts! don't they give your eyes some glow? i feel like they do for me! i'm glad you received them!

    ReplyDelete
  7. aw thanks for your comment girl, and Im glad we feel each others pain!! Drama sucks, and its not like we go seeking it. What did I ever do to you right? sigh... anyway, im sture it'll all pass evetually~ just gotta stay strong! Hang in there girly! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh my god girl, I feel for you. Just keep doing your job, no matter where you go there will always be haters. & Haters will continue to be haters.

    Its probably true that shes just jealous but that doesn't matter. As long as you know that you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear.

    Don't let her get to you! Just ignore & move on because confrontation & all that other stuff isn't always the way to fix things... I recommend you to just keep doing what your doing. Pretend you know nothing. You'll have less things to worry about. (:

    ReplyDelete
  9. btw, you look really pretty! If you stop smiling, the haters will know that their game got to you. So keep on smiling. :D

    ReplyDelete
  10. Pretty eyes! You look like a doll =)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey girl! Thanks for all the super sweet comments on my blog!! Every time I get a new comment from you, I smile! Sorry to hear that you're having probs at work with the people there. :( If it makes you feel any better, I'm going through some issues at the workplace too but I know it'll blow over and things will calm down in a while. It sounds like some people are jealous or threatened by you at work... just ignore it, keep doing what you do, and you'll come out ahead!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete